I Hate You But I Love You So Much
by Sassy Kames
Summary: Kenlos angst. For Sophie, aka XxxAnimaniacxxX! Rated T for language.


**A/N **Hiiiiiiiiii. It's been awhile. :( How was everyone's Christmas? :) I got a new laptop which I'm still trying to figure out but I love it. I'm so bummed that I didn't do a BTR Christmas story. I got a request for one but it's no longer Christmas and I am no longer feeling festive. :P

Also I was having trouble with writing. Like, my brain wasn't at all interested in doing any kind of English thing for what seems like for weeks. -.- But I am back with a Kenlos (gasp) one shot! It's inspired by one of FF's most fabulous story's ever **The Diamond Boys **by FF's most fabulous author ever, Miss **XxxAnimaniacxxX **If I didn't love Kames so much, I'd want that story to be Kenlos! The chemistry between Carlos and Kendall is the most amazing thing and they make me go akbglajbglablgbajbwlbslgagla bgbakjbgawbfkjabkabgkjabgkab kjgbaksfbabfa. For real.

Any who, this is for you **Sophie**, so I hope you like it! :)

* * *

**I Hate You So Much, But I Love You Too**

"Ugh, I cannot fucking believe you!" a blonde screamed at a pissed of looking Latino. The blonde stormed out the club with the other on his tail steam practically coming from his ears.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" the Latino, a male, growled and kicked open the door the blonde rudely and purposely shut close on him. "Bitch, I'm talking to you!"

The blonde, also a male, whirled around on the dark streets of L.A and glared at the Latino. "Don't call me a bitch!" he snarled before turning on his heels and stalked away, the Latino following.

"Why not? That's what you acting like so that's what you are. 'Sides, I don't what you bitching about, that guy had it coming for him."

The blonde scoffed and quickened his pace with a shake of his head. "For what? Dancing with me?"

"What he was doing was not dancing! He was practically fucking you on the dance floor!" the Latino yelled and crossed the street with the blonde.

"Oh, but it was okay for you to be doing the same with that chola!" the blonde yelled back and turned to face the Latino on the side walk. "You didn't see me throw her ass across the whole damn room, now did you? And now we can't go back and that was my favorite club, too!"

"You should have thought about that before you danced with that douche bag." the Latino snapped.

"You're the douche bag, douche bag! That guy did nothing wrong." the blonde snapped back, emerald eyes blazing with anger.

"HE WAS GRINDING INTO YOUR ASS RIGHT IN FRONT ME! YOU TWO WERE SO FUCKING CLOSE, I COULD SEE THE OUTLINE OF HIS TWO INCH DICK!" the Latino roared loudly, scaring a few passerbys. The blonde held his ground though.

Even though he wasn't that tall and the Latino hovered above him.

"So? At least he acted like he liked me, like he wanted me there dancing with him!"

"What the _hell _does that even mean?!"

"That someone cares for me whereas you act like you don't want anything to do with me, except to be your fucking fuck buddy!"

"That's not true-" the Latino started but was cut off by the screaming blonde.

"Yes it is, Carlos! You just want me around to have a good fuck and then you're done with me! You go out and do what you did tonight; find a hot girl to get frisky with while I'm on the sidelines feeling like SHIT!"

"Ken-"

"NO! I think we're together, like you're my boyfriend but you aren't! You don't treat me right, we fight all the time and I hate it! I HATE IT! I hate you!" by this point, tears were streaming down the blonde's face, much to his displeasure. He angrily wiped them away and glared down at the concrete ground.

Carlos stared at him with surprise etched all over his face. It turned into shock when the blonde looked up at him and said quietly but loud enough for him to hear, "But I love you so much."

After those words were spoken, it seemed like something inside the blonde shattered and suddenly he was bent over and sobbing in his hands. The Latino's over protective instincts took over and he took two big steps towards the blonde and pulled him in his arms.

At first the blonde struggled but after awhile he gave up. Carlos wasn't letting him and he missed having the Latino's strong arms wrapped around his frame. Fisting the front of Carlos' tight black wife beater, the blonde pulled himself as close as he could to the other male until their bodies were meshed together.

Burying his face into the crook of Carlos' neck, the blonde croaked out, "It hurts, okay. Getting at each other by pulling stunts like we both did tonight. I-I saw you staring at me when that guy came over and asked me to dance. I said yes not to make you jealous, I mean some of it was but I just wanted to feel loved." the blonde pulled away enough so he could stare up at the Latino.

"Obviously he doesn't love me but just getting the attention made me feel good. Half the time we're together, I'm invisible to you. The other half we're treating each other like crap. The whole time we're fighting. It makes me sick, Carlos. And I HATE it when you flirt with other people. I know I do it too, but you- I mean, it's _you_ is my problem. I love you and I want you to flirt with me, I want you to look at me with bright eyes like the way you do to complete strangers, I want you to hold me like this but not when we're both upset."

The blonde stopped, doe eyes locked with caramel eyes. He bit his lip before leaning up and rubbing their noses together cutely. "I want us to go back to the way they were, Carlos. I miss us. I miss you. I miss everything. The cute things, the sexy things, the goofy and fun things. The love. Under all this hate I built for you, the love is still there and I want it back. I don't want to hate you, I can't."

"Kendall..." Carlos whispered, staring down at the blonde. It took him a few moments to voice his thoughts. "Kendall, I am so sorry."

"Me too, Carlos." the blonde said softly, wrapping his arms around Carlos' neck.

"Shh, let me finish. I've been the worst person ever to you and I say 'person' because I didn't know if we really were in a relationship or not." the Latino continued.

"It didn't feel like it if we were." Kendall mumbled, resting his head on Carlos' shoulder. Fingers slipped under his chin though and guided his head back up so he was staring into a pair of pained brown eyes.

"No, not all and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'm not going to repeat everything you said but I do agree with it. All of it. You flirting with guys made me think I wasn't good enough for you so instead of acting like a pussy about it, I did the opposite and acted like a jackass and treated you badly and led on useless bitches so I wouldn't be hurt. I guess it just became a familiar thing since you kept on flirting with guys."

"That's because you were hitting on all of those girls."

"It was an endless cycle of hurt, anger and just about everything that sucked. But like you said baby, I never stopped loving you." Carlos slid his hands down to Kendall's slender hips and gave a small squeeze. "I can't ever stop loving you. No matter what my actions are, you are always and always will be the one I want."

Kendall smiled with tears, happy this time, running down his cheeks. "I'll always want you too, Carlos." he hiccuped and Carlos smiled, eyes brightening with love for the blonde. Grasping his chin again, Carlos leaned down until his mouth was inches away from Kendall's and their breaths were mingling together.

Kendall moved his hands down until they were gripping the waist line on Carlos' black jeans, long fingers playing with the loop holes. "You gonna kiss me yet?" he asked, voice soft and innocently sweet.

Carlos didn't answer. He just leaned down the rest of the way and kissed his blonde in a way he hadn't in forever.


End file.
